Until fairly recently, I thought that my days of awkward first dates were long behind me. I relished that thought, as I really loathe the whole first date experience. First kiss is another story, one which I'll delve into in another post, perhaps. The thought of never having to have the first date jitters again made me very happy. I'm not so great with awkward pauses, and I don't really know how to read people as well as I'd like to think I do. Well, at least not within the realm of the first date scenario. To my utter chagrin, I've been thrust back into the dating scene. It's not that I don't like meeting new people, because I do. I just hate the first date format. Even when it's just a cup of coffee or a cocktail, it's weird.
So imagine my surprise when a first date I went on recently started out surprisingly well. In fact, I was positively giddy. This guy was handsome, funny, successful, humble, chivalrous and sexy. I felt an instant attraction and was happy to find that there were no awkward moments to be had during the first part of our meeting. I was beginning to think that Mr. Handsome would definitely be getting a second date. I even kissed him (ahhh first kisses are so wonderful) and it was very, very nice.
Imagine my disappointment when Mr. Handsome morphed into Dr. Asshole in one short step. Things were humming along just peachy when, out of nowhere, he says something so repulsive that I shall not repeat it herein. I was flummoxed, to say the very least. All at once, the lyrics from a Paramore song came rushing into my brain: "I don't know what I want, but I know it's not you." Obviously the date backslid into ugly first date zone at a fast clip after that. When we parted ways, I don't really think Dr. Asshole understood what went wrong. He definitely knew that something definitely went haywire, though.
They say a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before finding her prince. I've kissed plenty in my day... I'll keep on kissing them until I find one that isn't positively a horny toad. I can't say it's not a little bit disheartening to stumble upon a guy who seems to be the real deal, only to have my hopes dashed with a few words. On the other hand, at least it happened on our first date and not years into the relationship. I hate it when that happens.
*Thanks to Paramore for today's blog title and lyrics (I Caught Myself) .