Monday, February 7, 2011

Amazing Again

Just one short year ago, my life felt like it was falling down around me.  I had no job, no car, barely a place to live... I was on the verge of a very strange breakup with someone I thought I cared a great deal for.  Last March I moved back in with Mom, filed a FAFSA and got myself enrolled in school again.  Slowly but surely I've been digging myself out of the awful pit I found myself in.  It's been an up and down sort of path to get to today.  I've had setbacks and triumphs.  I've been enormously humbled by the events of the last 14 months.

I was beginning to give up on the whole dating thing.  I had some fun dating around with a few guys, but nothing serious.  I just figured that something would come along eventually.  Honestly, I was happier alone than dating a bunch of randoms.  It just got too tiresome.  I've said this in past posts, but juggling a bunch of prospective dates is just not my style.  A couple weeks ago I made a deal with myself.  I decided to pay for one month on (possibly the only legit dating site I hadn't yet given a go).  If, at the end of that month, I wasn't at least exchanging emails with someone, I'd delete my profile and go back to being dateless for at least a few more months.

Let's just say that $40 membership was a very, very good investment.  I met someone that I can honestly say without any hesitation that I'm totally crazy about.  He's smart and witty.  He has a good job and is completely self-sufficient.  He appreciates and respects the crapola I've been through in the last couple years and understands that I'm working extremely hard to make a better life for myself.  He has a pug and loves to cook just as much, if not more, than I do.  He's astoundingly generous and humble.  There are qualities he has that I honestly never thought I'd actually find in a man.  We are already so comfortable around each other that I have a hard time myself believing that we met in person for the first time less than a week ago.

I know it sounds like I'm jumping the gun on all this.  I don't think I am. 

There's this cyclical quality to life that I'm finally starting to wrap my head around.  Shit happens that gets you completely down and out, but then slowly things start to cycle back around.  Inch by inch, day by day, your world starts to turn itself right-side up again.  Things are starting to look amazing again.

Today's blog title is from "Amazing Again" by Matt Nathanson (the best indie artist EVER)

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