Gravity

On Saturday, I turned 29.  If you do the math, you'll realize that I met my 20's watching the Twin Towers fall.  It seems like it was just yesterday.  Nine years.  This is my last year in my 20's, and I'm not so sure how to take it.  I've said jokingly that this is the oldest I'll ever get.  I'm just going to continue turning 29 from now on for each birthday.  I'm not scared of getting older anymore.  There was a time (probably when I turned 20) that the thought of 30 sent chills down my spine.  I've come to realize that even though life gets exponentially more complicated as the years pass, the potential for joy also grows.  It gets compressed into smaller moments, but those moments feel so much sweeter when they come along.

There's a couple lines in my favorite John Mayer song that I'm beginning to believe more and more:

Oh twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like one half could

I crossed my fingers and wished upon wishes that when I saw John Mayer live on Friday night in Tampa, 'Gravity' would be on the set list.  The birthday fairies smiled upon me and I got my wish as the second to last song before the encore.  I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm saying it now.  John Mayer was better in concert than Dave Matthews Band.  If you read my post about that concert, you know that I had a fantastic time.  This show was even better. 

I've lived a lot of life in the past 29 years.  I've had so many experiences, both amazing and awful.  It's been a crazy roller coaster and I'd expect nothing less in the years to come.  I know I'm in a good place personally right now.  Financially, I'm a disaster.  Physically, I'm a work in progress.  Spiritually, I'm not where I want to be.  Emotionally, I'm not sure I've ever been better.  I still struggle with the angel and devil on my shoulders when it comes to relationships.  I wonder if having a hardened heart is the way to go, never getting too close.  Then again, my instincts tell me that the only way to approach life is with a heart wide open.  I may always grapple with that quandary.  Maybe the older you get, the easier it is to find a happy medium.  Who knows for sure? 

If there's a lesson to be learned from my 20's, I think I learned it on September 11, 2001 in my first day as a twenty-something.  Never take it for granted, because before you know it, it can be gone.