There are a few universal truths that I keep forgetting. I get all worked up, when in reality if I had just remembered these tenets, I'd have seen it coming from a mile away. As much as I want to be romantic and see the world through those rose-colored glasses, it just sets me up for a letdown. There's a quote from my very favorite movie, Say Anything, in which Lloyd, the main character, is explaining why his friend is in a better position emotionally than he is. He says to her, "I guess when you start out depressed, everything is a pleasant surprise." That's so true. When you expect the worst from people, you're never let down. Unfortunately this goes for people you think you know well, just as it goes for casual acquaintances and random strangers alike.
Honestly, I had to give myself a couple days of cooling off time before writing and publishing this post because I was so angry. I don't get worked up too often anymore, and it takes much more to get under my skin. Here's something I've definitely learned: If you have to remind someone that you're a good friend, you aren't. Just having to tell someone, "I'm an awesome friend," is completely ridiculous. Either the person you're reminding isn't worth your time, or you've been a jerkwad. Similarly, if you keep saying, "I'm really a good person," then you AREN'T. Who are you trying to convince? Yourself? It certainly isn't convincing me. It's really true that actions speak louder than words. If you think I need some sort of summation or closing argument on your case in chief regarding your character, then things obviously aren't looking that great for you.
If only I could remember that I'm going to be disappointed in people the majority of the time, I'd be so much better off. People say things they don't mean. You're told what they think you want to hear. Not so much to protect you, but to protect themselves. They think of themselves before others more often than not. They ignore the things that they don't want to have to deal with. It's just human nature. Hell, I do those things sometimes. I try not to but last I checked I am, in fact, human. It's always better to face things head on and to tell the truth. It's not polite to always think of yourself before the people you say you care about. I just really abhor being disappointed in people I love.
And hence the end of my shiny, happy blog posts. ;-)
*Today's title is from "Love The Way You Lie" by Eminem feat. Rihanna
This is odd... I think you might have just posted some of my own thoughts. Sorry someone isn't being truthful or very friend like with you. It always confuses me when people say "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd be upset." Hmm... wonder how much more upset I'll be after I'm lied to about it?! :P
ReplyDeleteI'm regularly disappointed, perhpas saddened is a better word, with/by my friends and what they do or mostly what they don't do that I often think it's not worth my effort... it can be really disappointing but then a few days or weeks go by and I miss those said friends and somehow they figure it out and actually call me (unfortuneatly it's usually to tell me about themselves...and they don't think to ask about me) and the cycle starts over.
Good luck with this person. If they are worth keep as a friend, try to explain how you feel and if they aren't... then spare yourself the pain of disappointment and move on. :)