Monday, June 7, 2010

Laundry List

With the risk of sounding like a total bitch (which, incidentally, I am) I've decided to have myself a little rant.  I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want in a potential mate/suitor/boyfriend/whatever.  I've found that the list has gotten longer since I was last single... So I guess that means I at least learned something from my last go 'round.  I think other women my age will certainly identify with some of these standards.  I'm all for feedback, so leave a comment if you have something to say--good or otherwise.

  • Be decisive.  How fucking hard is it to make a decision?  I don't want it all left to me.  Be man enough to take ownership of at least some situations.  Own it, whether the outcome is good or hellacious.  I know what I want, so why don't you?
  • Have a good sense of humor.  That said, don't get too damn carried away.  Personally attacking me is never funny.  If you can't find your edit button, ask someone to help you out.  If you have diarrhea mouth, it doesn't bode well for our outcome.  Example:  Telling me to shut my legs because something smells funny is possibly one of the worst offenses EVER.  If you think that's funny, fuck you.
  • Don't be a picky eater.  Once you're past adolescence, this is unacceptable behavior.  I like to eat.  A lot.  I want to try everything.  If you have some weird aversion to onions or something, you need to snap out of it.  The one thing I absolutely abhor, green peppers, I'll tolerate to try something new.  You just never know what you'll like until you try it.
  • Have an open mind.  This goes back to the food thing, but I mean it in a much broader sense... I have no interest in dating someone who has some kind of backwoods view on anything.  If you can't be progressive and at least try to see things through someone else's eyes, then what the hell am I doing with you?  Easy answer:  I won't be with you for long.
  • Want more.  I don't mean monetarily.  Expect more from yourself.  Hold yourself to high standards.  Fight for what you believe in.  Have dreams.  Never be sedentary.  Have a goal and work toward achieving it.  I like determination.
  • Value your family.  I value mine more than I can say.  I think it speaks volumes about someone's character that they are close with their family.  Obviously sometimes your family is shitty.  I understand that.  However, I think it's important to be close with someone in your family at least.
  • Take care of yourself.  Be good to yourself.  That means taking time to do the things you enjoy, going to the doctor when you're sick, eating right and at least trying to exercise.  I do those things for myself, and I think it's important that you do as well.
  • Don't be critical.  I won't be if you aren't.  I don't respond well to criticism.  It's my nature to block out that kind of stuff.  I think it's counterproductive in a relationship.
  • Communicate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Seriously, this isn't hard.  We don't have to talk about mushy, feelings-y stuff all the time.  If there's something on your mind, say it.  Don't bottle up how you feel until you can't take it any more.  That's only going to piss me off, much more than telling me when it was a little thing would've.
  • Be mindful of the little things.  Grand gestures of romance are much appreciated, but it's the little, everyday things that are most important.  Returning text messages, holding hands, opening the door for me, expressing your love/affection... Those are the things that make a relationship special.
  • Don't be a wuss.  There's nothing I like less than a guy with no backbone.  That being said, refer back to "don't be critical" to make sure you aren't getting carried away, buddy.
  • Have your own life.  Big warning signs that you're not for me:  You live with your parents and you don't have a good reason for it (i.e. you've been laid off, you're in school).  You do everything your friends do, and you consult them for every decision.  You need my opinion before taking action on even the littlest thing.  
  • Be gainfully employed.  Or going to school.  Or both.  I don't do losers.
  • Check your baggage.  We all have suitcases full of crap from past relationships.  No matter what you've been through in the past, I'm not the girl who did it to you.  Don't take it out on me.  

There's more, but those are the big things...  Feedback is welcome.  Don't think I'll be nice, though :)


  1. I feel like I'm reading something I, and all the women I have ever known would have written. Thank you. I was beginning to think that maybe I was crazy.

  2. Amanda Knoll6/20/10, 2:50 PM

    DUUUUUUUUUUDE! Have you seen What Chilli Wants on VH1?! It's Chilli from TLC and she has this Matchmaker that Oprah shot to stardom helping her. CHILLI HAS A LIST TOO! You and I need to approach VH1 head honchos and tell them we need to make a white girl version of the show called "What Studabaker Wants" LMAO!!!! Get back to me sometime, I'm booking a flight out ASAP!!!!

  3. Hahaha... I'm going to Chicago later this summer. I'll pitch it then :) Come with me if you want. And you can't say that my list isn't spot-on, right?