Friday, September 11, 2009

28: Bad Decisions, Good Life

I've made some very bad decisions in my life. I ran away from home when I was a teenager. More than once. I used to drink a lot. I dropped out of college because I really just wasn't that into it. I made a lot of excuses for why I did the things I did, but in reality, I just wasn't that into it. I dated many, many loser guys. There were a couple diamonds in the rough, but it didn't work out with them for one reason or another. I can probably chalk that up to bad decisions on either my part or their's.

I took jobs that were well below my station in life because I thought I couldn't do better. I quit jobs that were good for me because I didn't want to be bothered. I haven't gone back to school because of debt from being stupid. I've been a bad, bad girl. I've had family problems that should have never been, because I jump to conclusions and am hot-headed. I've held grudges too long and let golden opportunities slip through my fingertips.

I can't say that I've been a poster child for how to live a good life, but my life is good. No, it's great. Through all my bad decisions, failures, missed opportunities, screw ups, missteps, etc, I've found that all of it has made me stronger. I have few friends, and that's fine. The few I do have are cherished and old, having been there to see me through good times and very, very bad. They've seen me at my lowest points (like being stalked outside my apartment - thanks for being there David and Jac) and my highest (on Mt. Rainier, one of the very best days of my life- and highest, literally Beth).

All the right decisions in the world don't make for a good life. I'm living proof.

2 comments:

  1. Oh your runaway days and being stalked... I'll never forget the night we both thought that M was at BOTH of our houses simultaneously, but in reality it was the sonic boom of the shuttle coming back. THAT was a classic Judy & Julia moment. :-)

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  2. I still laugh when I think about that. Sometimes I wish I could run away now. Too bad once you get to adulthood, running away isn't really a viable option anymore.

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