Thursday, October 14, 2010

On Hiatus... Sorta.

Ever since I started dating (at the tender age of 14), I've been a serial monogamist.  I've pretty steadily had a boyfriend since that first loser I dated all those years ago.  I've gone periods without, but those periods have been without any sort of romantic prospects, not just without a boyfriend.  I always liked being in a relationship, but I never once thought that it was detrimental to my sense of self to have a significant other.

Consider my mind changed on that subject.  I've been on a boyfriend sabbatical for a while now, and I have to say that I'm loving it.  Never had I had more time to devote to myself.  Call me selfish, but I really like that.  I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I want in a relationship and even more time thinking about what I don't want.  I think my mind and heart are both in a good place.  It's nice to focus on yourself.  Physically, I'm better than I've been in ages.  Last time I was at the doctor, I'd lost another 10 pounds.  While I still have a long way to go, it certainly feels good.

And that's not to say that I'm remaining completely celibate boy-wise.  I've been dating here and there.  I kind of dig that as well.  I've never really been the type to go out on dates and meet a lot of different people.  This is new and somewhat uncharted territory for me.  I like having the company of someone I like and enjoy being with, but not having to check in and give minute updates on my everyday life.  I like that I can keep some mystery.  I'm feeling more fulfilled than I have in years... In more ways than one. 

Finding someone to eventually settle down with is still something that is very important to me.  I'll get to that place eventually.  I've learned that it's not a race and I don't need to settle.  Ever.  I deserve the best and nothing less.  In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy what comes my way.  It's working out well so far.

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